Any woman who has grown up in a culture that prizes male heirs over female children know all too well the pain of being a father’s disappointment. Diana had a great relationship with her Vietnamese father during her childhood in the Czech Republic. However, when, after three miscarriages, her mother finally got pregnant again, their relationship came to an abrupt end. Diana’s father left the family, looking to start again in hopes of continuing the bloodline with his name.Â
Love, Dad/Milý Tati is a heart-wrenching short film about a young girl who remembers her dad and the bond they had before it was cruelly taken away. It’s beautiful, poetic and deeply melancholic. Directed by Diana Cam Van Nguyen, it tells the story through letters, memories and gorgeous cut paper art.
I was quite moved by this 13 minute film. I’m the third of a string of daughters born to a man who desperately wanted a son. I was lucky that my father never expressed any form of disappointment in only having daughters but I did feel the pang of guilt when the family name died with him.Â
Love, Dad/Milý Tati premiered at the 2021 AFI Fest as part of their Shorts Competition.
Elena is a 20-something social worker living in the Dominican Republic. She’s the daughter of a Haitian sugar cane worker and is struggling to get her government issued ID so she can continue her work. An ID would allow her to vote, give her more rights as a citizen and open up educational and career opportunities for her. But there is a deep-seated animosity that Dominicans feel towards Haitian immigrants. It’s one that is deeply entrenched into the history of the Hispaniola and is not changing anytime soon.
Directed by Michèle Stephenson, Elena is a moving short documentary about the strife between Haitians and Dominicans as told the story of one woman. I’m half Dominican and have studied the history of my mother’s homeland over the years. Anyone who has read Edwidge Danticat’s The Farming of Bones or knows anything about Dominican dictator Rafael Trujillo’s government imposed massacre of Haitian immigrants will know that this has been a longstanding problem on the island. For others, Elena will serve as a gentle and worthwhile introduction to this ongoing conflict. Stephenson chose a great subject for this poignant documentary. I was thoroughly invested in Elena’s story and by the end felt I like I made a new friend.
Elena was part of the 2021 Double Exposure Film Festival.
Directed by Amina Waheed, Unrelinquished investigates how a lax justice system allows for perpetrators of domestic violence to carry otherwise illegal weapons. In 2018, 22 year Jazmine Willock was found dead in her Tucson, Arizona home. She was the victim of a murder-suicide enacted by her abusive boyfriend. Jazmine is one of many domestic violence victims that die by armed abusers. Waheed’s short documentary examines Jazmine’s case and how others like her are caught in a system that doesn’t fully protect them. The film includes conversations with Jazmine’s mother and sister, a spotlight on another similar case and breaks down the flaws in the justice system. In a time when Gabby Petito’s murde, and the domestic violence that led to it, has caught national attention, Unrelinquished serves an important role in shedding light on how the system continues to fail these women.
Trigger warning: this film includes crime scene photos, descriptions of domestic violence and audio of Jazmine recounting her boyfriend’s abuse to the police.
Unrelinquished was part of the 2021 Double Exposure Film Festival’s Short Cuts program.
“Once everyone learns everything about me, I gotta keep moving. Why do I do that?”
Audrey
For the past two years, Audrey (Jena Malone) has lived in 4 different places and had 7 different jobs. She recently got fired from her collection agency gig, is overdue on rent and the electricity to her apartment has just been cut off. And to make matters worse, her father is ill and her mother refuses to speak to her. Audrey spends a lot of her time watching videos on YouTube and one night comes upon an ad for adult adoption in which seniors who either don’t have children of their own or want to have a younger adult in their lives will adopt through this service.
With no other prospects, Audrey gives this a shot. After many interview sessions she goes through a trial run with middle-aged couple Sunny (Emily Kuroda) and Otto (Robert Hunger-Buhler). Otto, a hard-nosed and strictly-by-the-book kind of guy, is reluctant at first but then warms up to Audrey. The two work on rebuilding his treehouse, with Otto giving Audrey guidance and Audrey relying on DIY YouTube videos to learn the skills to complete the task. As the they bond, Audrey finds herself in a tough situation and tries to decide how to move forward.
Directed by M. Cahill and based on a true story, Porcupine is a sweet film about the struggle to find one’s own place in the world. Audrey is a complex and nuanced character whose motivations are pure and not rooted in any selfishness or greed. Jena Malone is one of my favorite actresses and she shines in this role. Malone and Robert Hunger-Buhler play well off each other as the story’s two central characters. The film has a strong failure-to-launch theme, quirky characters and does a lot to explore complex family dynamics. Heartfelt, engrossing and thoroughly enjoyable.
Porcupine had its world premiere at the 2021 Woodstock Film Festival.
Note to add: Porcupine is now titled Adopting Audrey. The film will be releasing in theaters and on digital and VOD on August 26th, 2022.
Women carry the burden of the many expectations society has for them. The biggest one: motherhood. If a woman in her childbearing years decides against having children, she’s considered selfish. In fact, if she makes any reproductive choices at all, including the use of contraceptives and birth control, voluntary hysterectomies or having an abortion, she will be criticized by someone who feels they have a say in the matter. Many women are seen as walking uteruses rather than individuals who have a lot to offer other than giving birth. And those who want children but can’t have them due to many factors, including infertility, socioeconomic inequality and forced sterilization, are often seen as some sort of failure because they couldn’t achieve the goal assigned to them by societal norms. Being childfree or childless can make women feel like outcasts. Or worse. Silenced.
Childfree — won’t have children
Childless — can’t have children
Written, directed and produced by Therese Shechter, My So-Called Selfish Life gives a voice to the women out there who live their lives without birthing children, whether it was their choice to do so or not. It’s a profoundly important documentary about a subject that is often swept under the rug. Any childfree or childless woman, including myself, who has endured awkward and hurtful conversations with people in their lives about their situation will feel not only validated but redeemed to hear so many women in similar situations. And for those who cast judgement on others about the idea of maternal regret, they may learn a thing or two about compassion.
The documentary includes interviews with a variety of experts including doctors, authors and activists. These are bolstered with historical context and pop culture references. Almost every possible approach was taken making this a very thorough exploration on the subject matter. With that said, I wish the film had explored how social media platforms, including TikTok, are being used to openly discuss childfree living but it unfortunately does not.
I can see this documentary doing well through word-of-mouth recommendations, with childfree and childless women sharing it with others to encourage discussion and understanding.
My So-Called Selfish Life premiered at the 2021 Woodstock Film Festival. Learn more about the documentary on the official website.
